Ashley Cole may be struggling to come to terms with preparing for the World Cup while wife Cheryl files for divorce, but he can take encouragement from an unlikely source.
The man Cole will be facing in England’s opening Group C game against the United States – and who nearly ended his World Cup – has already come through the other side.
Landon Donovan, who spent 10 weeks on loan at Everton this season and was responsible for the tackle that broke Cole’s ankle, finalised his own high-profile divorce late last year.
His split from the star of US television sitcom Rules of Engagement, Bianca Kajlich, after three years of marriage, led to Donovan seeking therapy and the advice of friends and colleagues.
Cheryl filed for divorce on Tuesday. Some claim the timing was made to give Cole the chance to get over it before the World Cup kicks off, but he is thought to be shocked at the way it has been handled.
Because of his ankle injury, Cole has played only four games in the past four months and could be offered a new start in Spain next season by former Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho at Real Madrid.
Donovan believes divorce can be used as a catalyst for positive change both on and off the pitch and that Cole will become a better man and possibly an even better footballer if he meets his demons head on and deals with them.
“Every comment I got when I told people I was getting divorced was, ‘I’m so sorry’,” said Donovan. “But it is not always the case that it has to be sorry.
“Sometimes you learn more from those moments than anything. For me that was certainly the case. It doesn’t have to be ugly or nasty. It can be helpful and you can grow from it.
“Bianca taught me a lot more about myself than I knew. She is an actress and if you know that kind of life it is a struggle. When you realize you can’t take things for granted, it is hard. To hear it from your wife and best friend helps.
“Different things helped. Coaches, family, therapy and spending time looking at myself in an honest way. When you combine all that you don’t have a choice but to learn about yourself. You get to a point where you find your way again.”
Like Cole, Donovan was perceived as being cocky and arrogant by the American public in his younger days but has eventually grown into the role of being one of the leaders of the national side.
USA coach Bob Bradley has seen the change in Donovan over the past 12 months and believes it is for the benefit of the individual and his team.
“Landon has shown a great level of maturity, confidence and motivation,” said Bradley. “He has talked about how he has changed. It is easy to see he feels good inside about some of the challenges he has faced and the way he has improved – grown is maybe a better word.”
Donovan is the poster boy of football in the United States and his successful spell at Goodison Park, together with his good form for LA Galaxy, means he will be expected to perform well in South Africa.
“There are expectations and that’s good, but what is most important is what I expect from myself,” said Donovan. “As I have grown older, I’ve learnt what I can and can’t do and to keep things realistic.”
A dose of realism might just be the making of Cole.
The man Cole will be facing in England’s opening Group C game against the United States – and who nearly ended his World Cup – has already come through the other side.
Landon Donovan, who spent 10 weeks on loan at Everton this season and was responsible for the tackle that broke Cole’s ankle, finalised his own high-profile divorce late last year.
His split from the star of US television sitcom Rules of Engagement, Bianca Kajlich, after three years of marriage, led to Donovan seeking therapy and the advice of friends and colleagues.
Cheryl filed for divorce on Tuesday. Some claim the timing was made to give Cole the chance to get over it before the World Cup kicks off, but he is thought to be shocked at the way it has been handled.
Because of his ankle injury, Cole has played only four games in the past four months and could be offered a new start in Spain next season by former Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho at Real Madrid.
Donovan believes divorce can be used as a catalyst for positive change both on and off the pitch and that Cole will become a better man and possibly an even better footballer if he meets his demons head on and deals with them.
“Every comment I got when I told people I was getting divorced was, ‘I’m so sorry’,” said Donovan. “But it is not always the case that it has to be sorry.
“Sometimes you learn more from those moments than anything. For me that was certainly the case. It doesn’t have to be ugly or nasty. It can be helpful and you can grow from it.
“Bianca taught me a lot more about myself than I knew. She is an actress and if you know that kind of life it is a struggle. When you realize you can’t take things for granted, it is hard. To hear it from your wife and best friend helps.
“Different things helped. Coaches, family, therapy and spending time looking at myself in an honest way. When you combine all that you don’t have a choice but to learn about yourself. You get to a point where you find your way again.”
Like Cole, Donovan was perceived as being cocky and arrogant by the American public in his younger days but has eventually grown into the role of being one of the leaders of the national side.
USA coach Bob Bradley has seen the change in Donovan over the past 12 months and believes it is for the benefit of the individual and his team.
“Landon has shown a great level of maturity, confidence and motivation,” said Bradley. “He has talked about how he has changed. It is easy to see he feels good inside about some of the challenges he has faced and the way he has improved – grown is maybe a better word.”
Donovan is the poster boy of football in the United States and his successful spell at Goodison Park, together with his good form for LA Galaxy, means he will be expected to perform well in South Africa.
“There are expectations and that’s good, but what is most important is what I expect from myself,” said Donovan. “As I have grown older, I’ve learnt what I can and can’t do and to keep things realistic.”
A dose of realism might just be the making of Cole.
